1.4

It seems like i only have time for this blog in weekends. My statement was “write it daily” but it’s easy too do. I’ve been busy with many things these days.

Just finished a part of my mechanics’ homeworks, i felt a little stressed and hoped that writing a new blog-post could give me some relief. My last post was about my life, bullshit, i don’t want to continue.. These days I’m just tired of my expectations, of what i’m being involved. I’m running many errands, non of them seems like it’d become better. I feared that all of them will one day fail. Then i’ll have nothing. It’s like playing “lotto”, you gotta have all the right numbers.. aye, one day i’ll have it all, or nothing..

My mom told me that i should reconsider about my future job. A civil engineering usuallly works in remote area, that means far away from home. And the work conditions are bad, you may have to work under the sun’s heat, rains, and live in unhygiene places.. These sound reasonable. But i’m not gonna change my mind, i won’t regret of what I’m doing, the way I go..

Another uncomplete post, whatever, i’m bad with writing things, even in my mother tounge.

 

Something about myself..

Now, i’m supposed to do my homeworks (students in international College prefer the word “assignment”, that sounds more serious), which are too damn hard. I look at the papers, wondering if this thing is necesary for my prospective carrier.. I ask myself why’d i even be here, damn far away from home, from the people i loved.. I ask myself why i’d chosen Civil Engineering, which I didn’t like . I ask myself whether i’m living my life, or just doing what they told me to do.. Nahh, I’ve been living under pressure of success for 6 years.  No mistakes accepted, no ways else to go, i had to go aboard, get certificated, learn a damn language, grow up, be mature, and show them that i have always been a smart boy, brought to play the family’s tradition..

Back to 7 years ago, I was a boy who was considered “smart, mischevious, have a promising future”.. aye I was going to a relative famous secondary school, in a relative good class among intelligent children. I was suppossed to get through the entrance examination of a good highschool.. I was a smart boy, but lazier than the laziest pupil in the class. I went to school just to see the girl who sat next to me all the time at 9 grade, chat with her, make her smile, admire her handwritting, watch her studying. I wished that my life could be as happy, as smooth like that forever. I passed all the subject without spending a second studying at home.. As i said, i was smart and got a “little favour” from the teachers.. For the upcoming examinations, i got 21.5 additional points, as many as a boy with the background like me could have..

“Confidence is the most important factor of success” – Someone said that.

That one is stupid. I myself proved that.

For the examination ( the biggest event of a secondary pupil ), I just reviewed all the Math exercise, i was good with that shit, a overlook sounded already good. In Literature, i just learned the main things, and believed that i could improvise everything in the exam..

That was all my preparations. That was a mistake. But a mistake i gotta make. Sounds crazy, huh?

I failed the Exams, i had to go to a much worse high school, which that i never wanted to take..

To be continued..

8.3.2012

Yesterday wasn’t something special. Just another boring day in my coming-to-end vacation. I was surfing Facebook, seeing people send their best wishes to the women they love, they care about. I didn’t send any. The thing is, when you love someone, you should show it everyday, not dumping them all the time and say some bullshit wishes on some days.. So mother, sister and my little girl, i always love you, just never said that.

Lately at the night i chatted with her, it was me who started the conversation.. That was a short one, because i didn’t want it to last any longer. Just wanted to tell that i’m still thinking, caring about her.. I should have said that I gave up, when there wasn’t anything to do.

Yesterday was football-day. My favourite FC met a Spanish Club at home stadium.  But their performance was a disappointed one. It seemed like the players didn’t have desires to win, as if they were the champions already.. I hate that thinkings..

Another disappointment was a movie named 50/50. That was the biggest exageration ever. What’s wrong with IMDB’s voters ?  They voted this shit 8.0, a impressing mark for any kind of movie genre. The Movie is a story of a young man fighting against his cancer disease and how he’d found the love of his life by having the disease. ” I have cancer, let’s get laid” – most ridiculous thing ever. I’d never trust the IMDB again. Or this kind of film just isn’t my type.

That’s all. No, not all. Yesterday I also achieved something new in my one year and a half plan.

Boring day, not much to tell.

 

New blog.

From now on, i’ll try to write daily blog-post about my life, my dream, or something senseless.. whatever springs out in my mind when i write. In foreign language, you know what i mean. This blog is just to improve my foreign languages. You are not reading wrong, “languages” is plural.

I know German, English but these languages are still very bad. As you could see in my writings. For a long time i’ve lived with my own rationalizations, that my both languages were good enough, enought to survive in every country in the world. English is very porpular, wherever you come from, there must be someone who can speak English. But I lately figured out that it’d not be enough to get a job.

German is little less porpular, i can say it is only porpular in Europe. But I still want to improve my German, someone said that, “learn a new language, live a new life”. I’m not sure about the quote, but commonly that what it means. For my future job as a civil engineer i’m suppossed to take English as the first priority.

So it’s just the beginning of my training séssion, so i’m not gonna write any longer.

So it beginns..  ( It sounds like the beginning of novels, fairy tales. huh ?)

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