Something about myself..

Now, i’m supposed to do my homeworks (students in international College prefer the word “assignment”, that sounds more serious), which are too damn hard. I look at the papers, wondering if this thing is necesary for my prospective carrier.. I ask myself why’d i even be here, damn far away from home, from the people i loved.. I ask myself why i’d chosen Civil Engineering, which I didn’t like . I ask myself whether i’m living my life, or just doing what they told me to do.. Nahh, I’ve been living under pressure of success for 6 years.  No mistakes accepted, no ways else to go, i had to go aboard, get certificated, learn a damn language, grow up, be mature, and show them that i have always been a smart boy, brought to play the family’s tradition..

Back to 7 years ago, I was a boy who was considered “smart, mischevious, have a promising future”.. aye I was going to a relative famous secondary school, in a relative good class among intelligent children. I was suppossed to get through the entrance examination of a good highschool.. I was a smart boy, but lazier than the laziest pupil in the class. I went to school just to see the girl who sat next to me all the time at 9 grade, chat with her, make her smile, admire her handwritting, watch her studying. I wished that my life could be as happy, as smooth like that forever. I passed all the subject without spending a second studying at home.. As i said, i was smart and got a “little favour” from the teachers.. For the upcoming examinations, i got 21.5 additional points, as many as a boy with the background like me could have..

“Confidence is the most important factor of success” – Someone said that.

That one is stupid. I myself proved that.

For the examination ( the biggest event of a secondary pupil ), I just reviewed all the Math exercise, i was good with that shit, a overlook sounded already good. In Literature, i just learned the main things, and believed that i could improvise everything in the exam..

That was all my preparations. That was a mistake. But a mistake i gotta make. Sounds crazy, huh?

I failed the Exams, i had to go to a much worse high school, which that i never wanted to take..

To be continued..

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